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Cloudier - FEAR;life 2020

My doors are locked, the lights are off, and I am trembling in fear

I'm alive, but I wish I wasn't here, oh

The rope around my neck has snapped and all I feel is fear

For all the people in my life... I hold dear

The time is passing way too slowly for me to not feel regret

For all the joy and pain that caused this life to live today but yet

My mind is swimming in the river flowing down into death

But I can't save myself oh why, oh why am I just... such a mess?

Why do I try so hard to live? But I live in fear

Why do I try to find release? When it's just right here

Every day I fall apart and fall back to the start

Why can't I... why can't I... build the courage to...

I'm alone again, my phone is dead and I just dread

Getting up from the edge of my bed, oh

Life's a pill that's hard to swallow

But the pills in my hand... are so much harder when my pain doesn't end

Ah, why can't I breathe one more time?

And safely say it's my last

Ah, why can't I look myself in the eye?

And say a simple... goodbye

The trains are passing one by one before I even take a step

And in my ears are just the deafening sound of another breath

Oh, please just let me go, I'm barely hanging by a thread

Why do I strive to sleep? but keep escaping my eternal rest